Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Knowing When to Hold On and When to Let Go

Pin It We all have things we want and need in life. Identifying our wants and needs is a good thing, because it means we are always striving towards better things...always seeking out a happier life for ourselves.

But ultimately where does this leave us in the end if these wants and needs don't happen {or take longer than we desire}?? We are left with wants and needs, simply unmet. Unmet wants and needs can lead to feelings of hurt, anger, helplessness and sometimes obsessive behaviors.

Wants and needs are such a catch-22. We all should have them, but if or when our desires aren't being met...then what? Do we just give up? Tell ourselves that we no longer want or need "these things?" The answer is...well...yes. It's one of the harsh ironies of life that no matter how hard we attempt, push, fight, and even obsess over our wants and needs...sometimes we simply must let them go. When the pain of desiring our wants and needs outweighs the benefits of continuing to want them...it's time to simply give up.

Now, giving up isn't as simple as it may sound. Why would you want to give up on something you're certain will make you a happier, more content person?? The answer is, because if you don't give up...eventually you'll drive yourself crazy. After all, the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results." You can't keep staying on the same cyclical path...going round and round, and expect it to just finally happen. Yes, it still may...but why not learn to be happy without it.

I've always been someone who has known what they wanted and needed. Even at a young age, my parents told me how relentless I was regarding something I wanted or needed. Now, wanting my belly button pierced at 14 and wanting a tattoo at 15 is very different than needing something in your life...perhaps more intangible or external that is less out of your control {although I did end up getting my belly button pierced at 15 and got my first tattoo at 16...see? Told you...relentless.}

I've also been this way towards friends, family, and relationships. I couldn't make a person be loyal to me if they choose not to be, I couldn't control my families dysfunctionalities and I couldn't control being treated poorly by significant others. I simply could only control my own desires within these relationships.

As I've gotten older, my desires for certain things in my life have only continued to grow. I know I want to be a wife and a stay at home mom...I know these things. But when these things continue to not happen, I only am left with frustration, sadness, and an overall hopelessness.

I obsess, crave, and almost morn over desires that simply aren't being met right now. The more I hope for something and the more I don't get what I hope for, the more unhappy I get. It's a vicious cycle that too often I find myself getting caught in.

Letting go is the only option to find some peace of mind when our wants and needs aren't being met. But the ironies of life always seem to prevail. That the only way to get what you desire is to simply let go.

Letting go is part of what we must do to get what we desire!

skydiving two years ago. complete and utter freedom. letting go was the only thing i could do....

1 comment:

  1. Are you reading my mind...? Great writing Cat. It's good to know others feel the same.